my brother

I will miss your funny messages you would leave on my voicemail like just saying the word “poop” a bunch of times, I will miss listening to Keller Williams together, I will always be able to hear you singing along, I will miss your smile and even the way you smell. It’s going to be weird to call dad and not ask how you are doing, cause I did every single time. I will miss you having me sit and listen to your music that you made on the keyboard and computer.
Every time I chew my lip, or when I can’t pull myself away from the computer, or when I have anxiety in a grocery store I will think of you cause those are some of the things we had in common. Chris and I both had up and downs with our weight and problems with acne but he was always more insensitive about it. Like pointing out that I have a big obvious pimple, like I didn’t know it, or like last month when I had to remind him I don’t eat meat and he said “Is that why you got chubby?” He thought that was really funny. Mom and dad keep thanking me for what I’ve been doing this week and I keep saying everything I know on the computer, you taught me. You and your passion for music is why I was into the Beatles and The Dead by the time I was 11. I will always remember you teasing me for my Michael Jackson obsession.
I never payed much attention to weather we looked alike or not and it sounds silly but I miss you so much I find myself looking in the mirror hoping to catch a glimpse of you. I really hope I was a good sister cause I think I sometimes was too hard on you, I’m glad that in the past months I got a few chances to give you hugs, and tell you I love you, and that I was proud of you, and I will never forget the way you looked at me when I said I don’t want to lose you..
I am so proud to be your sister. I will miss you so much. I love you.

Life knows how to grove me..

I dont know about you but life is wonderful! everything happens for a reason and i keep realizing how much i have grown, and not grown. life is like putting my iPod on shuffle...you can be skipping along having a gay old time and all of a sudden this depressing song comes on that you are just not feeling but once its done out of the blue Zeppelin rocks your socks off and tells you to just ramble on! wonderful! do you know what im talking about? if no thats ok.
Can i just say that once something is done and there is nothing you can do about it, learn the lesson and LET IT GO, you will gain nothing if you just sit and think about how bad you wish things were different, NOTHING! just go about your business and proceed along your wonderful little journey! take note this is wonderful advice..
ps. sorry for the lack of punctuation and capitalizations

hhhmmmmm..

Note to self: People DO read your blog!!!

Note to everyone: Don't blog at work and especially ABOUT work!

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"The doctor of the future will give no medicine but will interest his patients in the care of the human frame, in diet, and in the cause and prevention of disease." -Thomas Madison

10 THINGS I HATE AND 11 THINGS I LOVE

10 THINGS I HATE
1- RUDE IDIOTS
2- THE PHRASE "SPANKING THE MONKEY"!!!
3- BACK FAT..EEWW
4- BUFFETS
5- PANIC ATTACKS
6- MEAT
7- MATERIALISTIC FOOLS
8- CABLE TV
9- NOT HAVING A “BEST” FRIEND BESIDES CALE
10- BUGS

11 THINGS I LOVE
1- WEEKENDS
2- YOGA & CRUNCHES
3- “QUANTUM WELLNESS”
4- MARC BROUSSARD
5- LOSING WEIGHT
6- EXTRA DARK CHOCOLATE
7- RESTRICTING
8- BAKING FOR FAMILY & FRIENDS
9- KISSING MY BOYS
10- BEING VEGETARIAN
11- DID I MENTION LOSING WEIGHT

Do I look FAT today????

I seriously think about my weight waaaay too much. When I’m not trying to loose weight I constantly think about how grossly F-A-T I am, even though my boyfriend tells me I am just perfect, yah yah yah. And when I am trying to loose weight, like I now am, I think about the number on the scale and analyze all the food I am (or not) consuming. I love myself and my life but whenever I get in a funk, especially when there isn’t a particular reason, I totally focus on dropping pounds and getting even healthier. Cause I know it will fill that void of whatever is missing and making me down. Do I have a problem, no I don’t think so, not at all. I probably did when I used to revolve my whole life around my body and would get “rid of” anything I consumed, back in the day. But now I focus more on health and a more natural based diet. So that’s ok. I guess I just need to make sure I find a balance and don’t go over bored. I have always had such an “all or nothing” attitude but like I said now it isn’t so much about calorie counting but what kind of food I am putting in my body.
I love being vegetarian, one of the MANY reasons is probably because I get to restrict food without people thinking I want to loose weight. I always hated people criticizing me when they saw me watching what I ate and feeling the need to share their opinion on weather I needed to or not. Keep it to yourself fatty! I am not under weight and haven’t been since I had Keller so that hasn’t been an issue. So why am I writing about this? I just need to reassure myself I am not going crazy and putting my thoughts into words helps me process these obsessive thoughts of mine. Wonder who even reads my blog???

Kelly is vegatarian....and now sober.

I haven’t been going out much, like at all, so when I finally did Saturday for my friend’s joint birthday party I was out of control. How ridiculous, I mean really, I don’t drink for almost 2 months and then go out and start taking shots like I can drink like the rest of ‘em! UGH! 
I was so sick the next day I had to miss my good friends son’s 1st birthday party!!! I was so upset and disappointed in myself. I truly was enjoying these past few months of sobriety! I don’t plan on ever getting that drunk again! EVER! And I mean it, don’t laugh! My body was so taken back by all the alcohol it was fed, none of the dancing and socializing was even worth it!  First meat now alcohol…what’s next????